So I was at my gym today, I know, unbelievable huh?  Anyway, I had finished my workout and was in the shower when I bent over to wash my feet and a little fart escaped my butt, brrrrrrttttt.  Of course I did what I always do when I hear a fart, a little smile comes to my face and I let out a little chuckle.   Then I started thinking about farts.  Why is farting looked down upon.  Why can’t you fart in public?  Why when you are a little kid your parents always told you, “If you need to do that, go in the bathroom!”  Why if you accidentally fart, you are forced to say “Excuse me!” and look embarrassed?   It is just a natural function of your body.  Let’s face it, farting isn’t much different from sneezing.  Both can sneak up on you and make a loud noise.  Some people are more apt at stifling a sneeze, they make little tiny noises, “achoo”, and others just can’t control them selves and they sneeze to loud they scare the bageebees out of everyone.   And have you noticed when you sneeze people say things like “God Bless You” or “Gesundheit”.  So when I accidentally fart why can’t people say “Oh, I bet you feel so much better now don’t you?”

Isn’t it better to just let the fart out rather than holding it in and giving yourself gas pains?  How many of you had to fart but held it in and then when you were finally able to leave, you got into your car and let one rip saying “Man!  Now I feel better!  I’ve been holding that in all night!”.  I mean, wouldn’t we all feel a lot better if we could just let them out no matter were we were?  You don’t have to lift your leg and do the fist pump every time you fart.  I mean, if your out in public and you’re in the middle of a conversation, you’d could just pass a silent, but hopefully not deadly, one.  You’d  not miss a beat in the conversation and plus you’d feel so much better.  Of course there is always the chance it may be one of those stinky farts.  I have to agree, those can be pretty bad.  I’m sure everyone finds them as offensive as do I.  There is the option that if there is an animal near by, you can always blame the smell on them (providing that the fart was a silent but deadly one).  “Spike!  Bad dog!”  If you are prone to those kind of farts I do hear that they have some kind of underwear with charcoal in them, you could do us all a favor and buy some of that underwear.  I think it would just make everyone feel so much better if we could just get rid of the bad stigma that is attached to farting.

Anyway, I’m glad I got that off my chest.  All in favor of farting in public…..say AYE!